Monday, October 31, 2011

I've got it all wrong... don't tell anyone... please!!!

I've been thinking I need to get busy!  I need to be doing something.  I need to working... like it all depends on me :-).  I know it sounds arrogant.  Perhaps it has something to do with the lie we're fed that suggests we're more defined by what we do, than who we are?

No wonder I'm always looking to DO something for my God.  The only problem.  I'm realizing how inept I am! Don't get me wrong... I have skills, but when I put them alongside the task before me I suddenly feel like I'm going the wrong way on a one way road or to put it another way I feel empty handed.

Depressing, huh? And yet I wonder... is being empty handed such a bad thing?

Maybe that's exactly what God can use.  I shared in my previous blog about this building that's an eye sore in our community.(see previous blog: walking in love)  Anyway, I've been thinking about how we might help our community by coming alongside them.  Perhaps by helping with their dream for this building, they can begin to see our love for them.  Yet the truth is I don't have the money, the time, or skills to do anything about it.  Which might lead one to wonder why I'm wasting my time thinking about it?  I guess you could say I've been wondering what God might do.  You might say I'm realizing if God is up to something, then... "nothing is impossible."

I sat in a cafe with three individuals I had just met.  One owned a Pub, the other the cafe we were visiting, still another was a computer tech who owned his own company.  I sat there straining to hear what they were saying through their thick accents, and as I did I found myself wondering... now what Lord?  I felt SO empty handed... it was then that I remembered the words of Jesus where he says, "Let the little children come to me... for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."  I get the idea that instead of depending on what I have in my hands, I should depend on the one who holds me in HIS hands.  If you read that story in Mark 10 you'll discover that immediately following this exchange Jesus meets a rich man who wanted to know how to inherit the kingdom.  He'd done all the right things, following the law, yet for whatever reason he still felt something was missing, which is why he comes to Jesus.

Jesus calls him to empty his hands of those things that he places HIS trust in, to simply follow... for the kingdom "belongs to such as these"  

Maybe empty handed is not the worst place to be... maybe it's exactly where God wants me?

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